And now, the sound of nobody caring...

	Geeks nowhere today lauded highly Novell's introduction of a translator for Microsoft's Office Open XML document format, now allowing the open source Office alternative called OpenOffice.org to read new Microsoft Office 2007 document files. Novell chief Ira Sellingauht announced today that his company has made great strides in making Linux more inter-operable with Windows computers, by their creation of a software translator that can read and convert Microsoft's new Office Open XML document format into an equally arcane and useless format, not surprisingly called Open Document Format. "This translator will allow Linux users worldwide to gain access to a new world of Microsoft documents and formats, a world we have been so wrongly excluded from for many, many years," stated the chief. He continued, "We look forward to the new bond between the Linux and Windows worlds, and will continue our development in those areas." In response, Microsoft CEO Ballmer said, "We exclude those guys for a reason: geeks are a primitive race that don't have social skills and don't belong in business. They are really not much more than a bunch of overgrown teenagers who get all bent out of shape when things don't go their way. They have no professionalism whatsoever." We were astounded by this statement, so we then showed him the old pictures of Bill Gates from 1975 to remind him his mentor is a geek. This prompted Ballmer to throw chairs across the room, yell that he was going to "kill" Linux, and then run out of the conference with arms dangling and knuckles dragging like an orangutan. The news of the new translator sent the computer industry in to a roaring murmur. According to certified uber-geek Angus McMurphy, "I'm not impressed, Novell. Who cares if linux works with Microshaft's crappy software. Besides, nobody who's nobody uses Microsoft Word, because the real geeks rule the world and real geeks like to fiddle with things to get 'em working. Yeah, Microsoft's software is reliable enough, but who needs software the works right out of the box and is just there waiting for you when you buy a new PC? That kills all the fun!" Mr. McMurphy had to cut his interview short, because his mother called him to dinner.

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